Old Badger Philosophizes about the Hunt

Deer Hunting camp is obviously much more about family time and establishing traditions than lesser concerns like putting meat in the freezer.  Per last posting one of the traditions has become....the deer outsmart Grandpa.  This amuses the grandchildren considerably and I try to play my role with good grace.  I call it the Old Badger scenario.

Old Badger is one of the central characters in a book we read to the small ones.  A old badger, presumably a grandparent, is off in the woods showing Young Badger how the world works.  It is organized around a series of questions framed thusly:

In the book the little imp is always inquiring as to whether OB can still do things like climb trees.  The revered ancient replies that He probably could if he had to but prefers to sit under the tree and let the apples drop down for him.

Regards my relative lack of success in deer hunting....

"Old Badger, can you still climb up into a tree stand?"

"Well yes, Young Badger I can, but it takes a bit longer and its a lot less comfortable than it was at your age"

"Old Badger, can you even see the deer when they walk by?"

"What the.....well, yes Young Badger, I still see 'em.  Maybe not from as far away as when I was your age.  At which point in time I had far better manners."

"Ha, ha!  Old Badger, would you drag a deer out of the woods or would it drag you?"

"(unintelligible mumblings) Now let me tell you a couple of things you insolent scamp.  When Uncle Badger needed help dragging one in it sure wasn't you that he called!  And when I got a deer a couple seasons back I dragged it over a mile to get it in.  Uphill."

"Old Badger, that wasn't a very big deer was it?"

"(further unintelligibal mumblings in which the word possum seems to feature).  You just wait ya cheeky little cub.  I'm not done hunting yet.  And who do you think Old Badger can still fool?"

"Gee, I dunno gramps, maybe toads 'n fungus?"

"Nope........Old Deer."