Rome on the Potomac - Alternate Histories.....

Recently I gave a presentation for the local "Learning in Retirement" program.  It was on Hadrian's Wall, both the walking trail aspect and the archeology.  It was quite fun. But I did have to prepare for questions of all sorts, and the matter of Imperial Politics might easily have come up.

Now, the Founding Fathers of America were very well read chaps, all too aware of the strengths and weaknesses of Empire. In some areas they copied from Rome rather directly.  Our Senate for example.  In other cases they took an exact opposite approach. Civilian control of the military for instance.

But over the course of Roman history so many different methods of government were tried, especially with respect to the transfer of power.  What if Jefferson, Franklin and their colleagues had all gone on an epic bender at The City Tavern and in a drunken state decided to emulate some of Rome's other political experiments?

Dispatches from an Alternate Rome on the Potomac.... 

1. The Tetrarchy

In the late Empire things had gotten so complicated.  The Empire was huge and the problems they faced - military, economic, cultural - seemed insurmountable. The solution?  Divide the Empire into Eastern and Western halves.  Put an Emperor in charge of each.  Have each Emperor name a junior partner, called a Caesar, who would by years of experience be ready to step up to the big chair in his turn.  In theory the more senior of the two Emperors would have some veto power, or at least influence, over the selection of Caesars in East and West.  How did it work out?  Oh, about as you'd expect.  But let me spell it out for you in Imperial Purple.

Dateline Richmondia  As the Southern Empire mourns the death of Emperor Robertus Byrd a struggle for succession is brewing. The new Emperor Jefferson Davis III is being challenged by Lindonius Johnson who claims legitimacy on the basis of his being the unrecognized son of Robertus by a woman from the Texan Province.  The Imperial Palace has issued a categorical denial of these claims saying that "Just because a matron from the trailer park starts calling herself Lady Byrd does not mean she ever knew the man".  Johnson is said to be rallying troops to his cause over the border in the Northern Province of Transmontana.  Emperor Lincoln IV has not issued a statement.

2. To the Highest Bidder.  In 193 AD the Emperor Pertinax had an "unfortunate accident" at the hands of his Praetorian Guard.  This followed only 86 days after his predecessor had a similar mishap.  In a moment of inspiration the Praetorians decided to sell the position - such as it was - to the highest bidder.  Didius Julianus "won" with a bid of 25,000 sesterces per Praetorian.  His reign lasted 66 days until he also met with misfortune.

Dateline Domus Albia, District of Columbia  The White House chief of communications, Mendacem Lupus, today announced a "Marvelous new Opportunity".  In the wake of the Empress Kardashian's unfortunate hair dryer mishap the post of Emperor/Empress will be available to the highest bidder.  "Go to our online partner IdesMarch.com for details on how to bid", said Mr. Lupus.  This reporter upon reading the fine print does note that the previous 90 day guarantee has been reduced to 60 days.  

3. Dynasties.  Sometimes the real world trumps any attempt at satire.  If you want a modern day version of the perils of hereditary rule you can find them aplenty.  The decline of the Kennedy family from their lofty status recalls the late Imperial practice of raising assorted lesser sons, grandsons and nephews to The Purple.  And for an example from the earlier Empire where unprincipled, dangerous thugs rose to power I suggest a study of North Korea.  Now, on the matter of dynasties and trumps....

4. The Adoptive Presidency.  A play on the Adoptive Emperors.  These were the extremely competent rulers from Nerva to Marcus Aurelius, who ruled the Roman empire so well in the 2nd Century AD.  They are sometimes called "The Five Good Emperors", a term coined by no less than Niccolo Machiavelli.  And his credentials on knowing the good and bad of leadership can hardly be questioned.

One thing that contributed to this impressive run was that it was not dynastic.  In each succession - right up until old Marcus so foolishly trusted his son Commodus - the ruling Emperor found some extremely competent and worthy non relative....and adopted him as his designated heir and successor.

Of course this was in part making a virtue of necessity.  This run of emperors had a shortage of living male heirs.  Infant mortality, a tendency towards daughters, Hadrian's - ahem - excessive interest in Greek boys.  But all this aside the adoptive system worked well and Gibbon pronounced this "...the period of history in the world during which the condition of the human race was most happy and prosperous..."  So could it work today?

Dateline The White House.  July 4th 2017 

"Happy Birthday America!  Glad we ditched that loser George III."
#Dynasties Stink!

"Hilary would have been no better!"
#Dynasties Stink!

"And don't get me going on Chelsea.  Or even worse, Michelle!!!!!!!"
#Dynasties Stink!

"Truth is my own kids are no prizes.  Trust me, I know 'em!"
#Dynasties Stink!

"You could do better pulling names out of a hat.  In fact, I did that. After I retire I will be succeeded by this guy from Wisconsin.  Tom, I think is his name.  You could do worse!  With elections you usually do!"
#Dynasties Stink!

Allegory in Bronze, plastic and cement.

When we were in Washington DC we took a tour of the Library of Congress.  Free and quite interesting.  Some of what follows was from our tour guide, make of it what you will.

Supposedly when a new building was needed for the Library it was handled in the fashion customary for Congressional projects.   Sweetheart bids to cronies, ballooning budgets, completion nowhere in sight.  It was supposed to be a simple project.  In fact the managment of the Library said they wanted something nice and simple, no ostentatious glitz.

Eventually the project got so far out of control that Congress called in Brigadier General Thomas Lincoln Casey, the head of the Army Corps of Engineers.  He had just finished off the Washington Monument, another botched project that had languished for too long.  And he brought it in on time and under budget.

General Casey agreed to finish the Library (acutally the Jefferson Building of same) on the condition that he would have absolute control.  Reluctantly Congress agreed.

Well, Casey had a bit of a wild side to him and went on to create an incredibly ornate building crawling with murals, statuary, architectural frippery of all sorts.  So, just the opposite of what was asked for.  But as promised, on time and under budget.

Out front there is a remarkable statue called "The Court of Neptune".  If you like your art work over the top and heavy on the allegory,  this is a real treat.

I'm sure it is better when they have the water running, but here we have King Neptune with snapping turtles, sea serpents, merfolk of various types.

Bull frog and naked guy.

Buxom water nymph being a little harsh with her horse.

More nautically oriented glitz.

I had these photos tucked away for future reference, when I recently encountered something that struck me as just a little reminiscent.  On a hot and dusty street in small town Wisconsin, another interesting and very busy tableaux:

American flags.  Santa Claus, plaster cats, chickens, mice and a swan.  A couple of cement angels were off camera on one side.  General Casey would have liked this.

Washington D.C. - Odder than usual sights.

The exact Center of the US Capitol.  It is supposedly good luck to step on this spot.  The floor is dipped in a bit here, a consequence they say of all the luck seekers.

Each state in the Union has two statues on display in the Capitol.  Oklahoma has a nice one of Will Rogers.  Legislators and others looking for a bit of good luck rub Will's left foot.  This practice is now discouraged.

Inside one of the Congressional Office Buildings.  This Solon has just announced he will not run for re-election.  A large box  sitting in the hallway waiting for the Postal Service to pick it up.  I wonder what it contains?

We saw some protesters when we visited but most were unremarkable.  Even the Occupy encampment was just a bunch of wet tents with wet occupants.  But this was interesting.  Jesus stood totally still.  He should, as He was a manikin.  Note the weight behind His right foot.  His companion moved very, very little, but was a real human.  No sign, no chants, just stood there.  Off to one side she had a few placards laid out that referenced 9/11 in a sort of generic way.  And a large Tupperware tub marked "Jesus" that I imagine contained various accessories.

Washington Underground

I'm a fan of subways.  London is the classic of course.  Munich is my personal favorite.  But Washington D.C. has an extensive and very efficient system.  Really modernistic:

This is very cool, but if you stop and think about it, also a little creepy.  It has something of a catacombs vibe, but you just know the builders of the system were also thinking about their potential as bomb shelters.

And speaking of creepy, the first time I saw the entrance to the Dupont Circle station it gave me a vague sense of recognition and disquiet:

The commuters blithely descending into the depths brought to mind this scene from the film adaptation of The Time Machine (superior 1960 version):

Here the Eloi-clueless futuristic chuckleheads-are lured down underground for a visit with their troglodyte Morlock cousins, whose interest in them is purely culinary.

As we left the station on our final day in fact, there was some kind of malfunction in the PA system, so behind us I heard a harsh, guttural voice mumbling things I could not quite make out.  A Morlock, almost for sure.

Head for the exit!

The National Christmas Tree

I thought this would be a simple post.  Silly picture, a few observations, move on.  But like so many things in Washington DC it is more complex than we flatlanders would think.  Pictures first:

Behold the National Christmas Tree.  Right in front of the White House.  It has a plaque to prove it:

The Tree does not look healthy.  It seems to be missing a top, and with the best photo I could get on a windy, cold April evening....it looks sick.

But I remember National Christmas Trees looking quite lovely in recent years, and had the impression that they were cut and hauled in from various states of the Union.  So I did what we all do these days, went to wikipedia and learned all kinds of  Random Stuff.

The tradition began in 1923.  Like a lot of things in D.C. this was the idea of a lobbyist, a certain Frederick Morris Feiker who was helping an electrical industry trade group sell the idea of using Christmas lights.  It was a temporary tree, and as will be a recurring issue, it was damaged in transit and needed to have extra branches affixed to its lower sections.

The next year "Silent Cal" Coolidge surprised everyone by giving a speech criticising the cutting of live trees for Christmas.  Who knew he had that going on in his head?  So a live tree was planted and President Coolidge was a sport and threw the switch lighting it up.

Unfortunately the weight and heat of the massive strings of lights tended to cook the early trees, so it was necessary to bring in replacements in both 1929 and 1931.  The tree was moved several times over the years and went dark for most of World War Two.

Temporary trees on the Ellipse seemed to be the general rule in the Post War era, with various distractions such as en route train derailments, anti-War protests and so forth.

A living tree was reintroduced during the eco-concious year of 1973.  Unfortunately if fell off the flatbed truck in transit and died off by the Bicentennial year of 1976.  Jimmy Carter's daughter Amy lit the tree that year, but in keeping with President Carter's" sweater-in-the-White House ethos, it was only lit for a few hours each day.  Like so much undertaken during the Carter years, this tree ended badly.  It was weather damaged and developed a 45 degree lean!

Time for another new tree.  Amy got to light this one as well, but only the top star....the rest were to stay dark until the hostages got home from Iran.

The 1978 tree had a good long run, but in February 2011 it was damaged in a wind storm, its top being sheared off.  I assume my picture is of this tree.

A new tree was planted a few months later.  Only 25 feet tall and apparently not in as central a location, I missed it entirely.  But I have no doubt that the current Administration has statistics that prove it is growing at a fantastic rate.

Sonny Bono. Remembering a C-Lister

You have to be over 50 I suppose to remember Sonny Bono.  He was one half of the Sonny and Cher duo that had a few top 40 hits and a modestly popular TV show in the late 60's and early 70's. 

Cher went on to greater fame, reaching B-List celebrity status with some decent movie roles.  Sonny, well, he was mostly her comedic foil.  He was short, he had less talent, he wore awful clothes.

Cher divorced him in 1975, although remarkably The Sonny and Cher show stumbled on a couple more years.

Sonny probably dipped down to D-Level status at that point, with small parts in bad movies, as well as appearing on both of the Grave Yards of Lost Careers, Fantasy Island and Love Boat.

But he was possessed of a certain pluck, was our friend Sonny, and following the path of Reagan and Eastwood he went into politics, becoming first Mayor of Palm Springs and finally a U.S. Congressman in 1994.

His political career was uneventful.

Sonny Bono died in a skiing accident in 1998.  The autopsy showed no drugs or alcohol in his system, he just ran into a tree.

I have always had a fondness for Sonny.  Lets face it, despite good looks and a strong voice Cher must have been atrocious as a wife.  That whole thing with his daughter/son Chastity/Chaz only got really weird after his death, but still.....  And rather remarkable in both the worlds of politics and celebrity, he never seems to have taken himself too seriously.  Referencing his rather unsuccessful solo singing career he would sometimes say when performing: "I'd like to play a medley of my Greatest Hit".

So Sonny had friends in this world and that counts for something. One of these friends, a local real estate developer named Geary Simon, kicked in $25,000 to renovate an 800 square foot patch of ground near Washington D.C.s Dupont Circle to serve as the Sonny Bono Memorial Park.


We made a pilgrimage there in April.  Here are some pictures.  Enjoy them and remember a man who remained cheerful through much adversity, a man who made the most of being on the C-List.


Sonny Bono Park.  At O Street NW and New Hampshire

 

Another view



An apple juice bottle stuck on the fence

The photo above was taken by my wife on our 30th anniversary.  I am contemplating how fleeting is fame, and indeed, is life itself.  Beneath the round memorial marker I understand there is a time capsule containing artifacts from Mr. Bono's career.  Darn, even his name has been appropriated by another singer.....

Remains of a modest fan tribute.  The most appropriate kind for a modest man.

The American Meridian

Until we stumbled upon this marker on the campus of George Washington University I had no idea that there had ever been an American Meridian!

Apparetly back in the feisty youth of our Republic we had a sort of Admiration/Hate thing going on with London.  It's part of the same mindset that produced the anti-foreign "Know Nothings" I suppose.  In any event it was considered unseemly for our great land to measure things from the Prime Meridian that runs through the Royal Observatory at Greenwich.

By 1848 we had our own Observatory, thank you very much, and the American Meridian runs smack through it.  Never mind that it is less logical to have your measurements based on a longitude of 77.2.48 instead of a nice round Zero.

So for about 40 years we measured our state boundries, in such places where rivers did not mark them, based on the American Meridian.

Like all tourists to Greenwich I have stood with one foot in East and one in West.  The obsolete American Meridian does not have the same feel to it, but what the heck.

The Zero Stone

Milestones interest me.  I suppose I first encountered them in that odd card game Mille Bornes:

But the French just took them over from the Romans, who used them as mile markers along their extensive network of roads.  You know the old saying, "All Roads Lead to Rome".

Supposedly this was based on fact, with a Golden Milestone, the Milliarium Aureum in the middle of the Roman Forum acting as the starting point from which all Roman roads were measured.

Actually the Golden Milestone was probably just gilded bronze, and most Roman milestones do not mention distance from Rome, but it was still an interesting idea.  It was later copied by the Byzantines with a marker called the Milion at Constantinople, and dubiously by a stone artifact called The London Stone, in central London.

So it stands to reason that eventually somebody in Washington D.C. would figure we needed an official central milestone there.  I am just a little surprised it took until 1919 for it to happen.

And here it is, the official United States Zero Milestone.  It is just across the street from the White House, on the south side and near the National Christmas Tree.  It was intended to be the measuring point for all road distances until it became evident that the mileposts would be getting a little awkward down there by San Diego.  It was also the starting point for a couple of early experiments in the military use of motor vehicles in cross country travel, but otherwise seems mostly to serve as a backdrop for Japanese tourists.  They take pictures of themselves standing next to this.  After, of course, they take pictures of themselves with the White House in the background.

An Obelisk for a New Nation

If you wander through this blog periodically you already know that I have a fascination with obelisks.  Especialy as they relate to national self image.  As a symbol of, well, of national potency it was once considered essential to have an extremely phallic monument in your national capitol, be it Rome, London or Paris.

The Washington Monument may or may not be a true obelisk, it depends on your definition of things.  Ancient Egyptian obelisks were monolithic, that is they were carved from rock as a single unit.  The Washington monument is made up of laid blocks of stone, as were some lesser ancient obelisks, also it is hollow with stairs and an elevator inside it.

But lets give it points for scale.  It is the world's tallest free standing stone structure, and at 555 feet it dwarfs the largest ancient obelisk, that standing at the Piazza di San Giovanni in Rome.  In fact, that obelisk is just short of a puny 150 feet even with the cheating assistance of a modern base.

The Washington monument had some notable classical influences.  The competition for a design was announced in 1836, the same year a genuine Egyptian obelisk was erected in Paris.  The construction of the monument was a difficult process.  The first stones were laid in 1848, but construction was suspended from 1858 to 1877.  You can in fact see a difference in the stone color between the first and second phases of the project:

Interestingly the project ground to a halt in a controversy with Roman origins.

In the late 1840s a proposal was floated to have states, territories, societies and so forth donate commemorative stones for the inside of the structure.  It seems to have been a PR move at a time when funds were lagging.  Lots of donations were forthcoming, just under 200 commemorative stones can be seen inside the Monument today.

There were many in the spirit of the original suggestion, and more than a few odd ones from Masonic groups, a Temperance Society, a couple of photographers and sundry volunteer militia troops and fire brigades.  But one stone pretty much closed the project down.

Pope Pius IX decided to donate a block of black marble from the Temple of Concord, part of the ancient Forum of Rome.  This outraged a group of citizens called "No Nothings" who were ferociously anti-immigrant and specifically against any Roman Catholic influence in goverment.  Under cover of dark the Pope's stone vanished, supposedly broken up and tossed in the nearby Potomac river, where it will doubtless ruin some far distant archeological survey of the site.

The Know Nothings also arranged to take over the management of the project but like most vandals proved less adept at building up than at tearing down.  Only a few courses of shoddy work were laid on their watch, all of which had to be removed and redone when the project resumed post bellum.

Some other cool commemorative stones and pseudo Roman touches remain inside the monument, the following images are from the Library of Congress:

Although information is surprisingly hard to find on this topic, I did read that the Pope's stone was replaced in 1982.  I think this is it.

The Library of Alexandria is not a single structure of known location.  So this stone is likely a best guess.  Most of the Library was apparently washed into the sea in a tidal wave.

A rather nice bit of mosaic floor.  It has suffered the fate of so many classical examples, damaged by later additions.

When you see lonesome ruins of antiquity in some desert landscape it is easy to get all Byronesque and romantic, imagining waves of barbarians storming the gates followed by a long gentle decline.  But in fact many of the great ruins of the classic era, places like Leptis Magna, had a fairly abrupt demolition by earthquakes.

Surprisingly on my recent visit the interior of the Washington Monument was closed for the same reason....an earthquake struck the area in August of 2011.  The interior of the Monument is closed for visitors while the National Parks Service mulls things over.  I tried to get some pictures of earthquake damage, but the Park Ranger on duty that day did not seem eager to point out specific problem areas.  I suspect he is under orders to keep mum.  Still....

And from the National Parks Service site:

The above is an interior view showing a crack clear through on the little viewed Western side.  This might not be as bad as it looks, the Monument has much thinner walls at the top than at the bottom, but just try and find experienced obelisk repair men these days!

Rome on the Potomac

(Note to regular readers.  I'll be taking a break from England/Archeology now to give a little attention to my recent first ever trip to Washington DC. Back across the pond in a bit)


Its no great secret that the Founding Fathers had a thing about Rome.  They hoped to take the best of it and, avoiding its failings, transplant it to new shores.  Some of the borrowings are direct.  We too have a Senate, a Capitol.  Others are stylistic, hence the dramatic architecture:

Other influences are more subtle.  Note this statue of George Washington:

Here we see The Father of His Country leaning on a Fasces traditional symbol of Roman authority.  Note that this version is without a protruding axe blade, indicating that within the capitol city the ruler did not have the arbitrary power of life and death.  Make of it what you will, but in the House Chamber you see this:

Perhaps this indicates that power comes directly from the People, or is a reference to the power of Congress to declare War, under which condition the ancient Romans allowed the State the power of Life and Death even in Rome, as symbolized by carrying the Fasces with the axe.

As to the later association of the symbol with 20th century Fascism, well we have avoided it so far.

Tune in over the next little while for more images of Rome as transplanted to the Potomac.