Wednesday, May 4, 2016

The Orange Adder

(Another day of adventure abroad but a break from the Travelogue to address current events)

I have tried to explain the Donald Trump phenomena to my friends in the UK.  But alas, my notion that he might be the physical manifestation of Bill the Cat was a bit obscure even for my fellow countrymen and women to follow.  To explain The Donald to Brits I needed a frame of reference they might recognize.

I am a fan of the Blackadder series of pseudo historical comedies.  In them a scheming, amoral social climber named Blackadder turns up in various historical eras, always accompanied by his malodorous dimwitted side kick, Baldrick.

Eventually Baldrick - who really puts both the idiot and savant into the project - accidentally invents a Time Machine which Blackadder utilizes to go back and tamper with history on a grand scale. The closing scenes of "Blackadder Back and Forth" show our anti-hero as King of England, and the servile Baldrick as his witless Prime Minister.  With Parliament dissolved Blackadder has finally attained Supremacy.

The ending song is rather catchy.  Check it out.

So, is there any chance that Donald Trump has pulled off a similar trick?  That somewhere in the penthouse of one of the Trump casinos there is a functioning Time Machine that allows him to go back and tinker with a more rational history?

My version of the above song would be "Orangeadder".

Let joy fill every Native Heart,
For now America's gonna make it.
A POTUS who is "Hugely" Smart
And current wife who looks good naked.

Orangeadder, Orangeadder,
He wears a baseball cap,
Orangeadder, Orangeadder,
He cannot shut his yap.

Who knows what he'll decide to do?
His Will shall trumpet 'cross our Nation.
Congress, such a worthless crew, 
They may as well stay on vacation.

His hair so oddly hued,
I fear we'll all be screwed...

No, I can't vote for the guy under any circumstances.  But in moments of despairing honesty I have to admit that the very collapse of our political system that has gotten us here makes me regard the prospect of  Baldrick as Vice President as actually being a minor upgrade from Joe Biden.

No comments: