Monday, September 2, 2013

Walmart and the Tie of Peace

I don't shop at Walmart often.  I find the place uncongenial.  Rather like setting down on a planet that is not quite Earth-like and where you can  only breath the atmosphere for a limited time before you start to get disoriented.

The reasons for this are not so much a reflection on American Consumerism or on their specific clientele, but on my own deficiencies.  But honestly, does a store that provides the good service of selling low priced goods really need to have an entire aisle of chips (crisps for you Brits).  Tallying up the size, brand and flavor sub types there were almost 200 salty, hypertension inducing options to chose from.

But even a brief expedition to an alien world can provide a surprise.  Recently, and under mild duress, I was on a shopping run to the 'Mart when I saw this:

Watermelons, obviously, and right up front we find:

Color coded watermelon knives.  A bit grisly if you make the mistake of thinking about it, the red plastic sheath gives the impression it has just been stabbed into the heart of one of the melons and has been drawn out, covered in juice and seeds. Maybe that is why we also see this:

The cable tie is to keep the knife from being drawn.  I would like to think that they were more worried about a customer "Going Gallagher" on the melons more than doing anything more horrific.

But it brought to mind a casual conversation from many years back.  It was with a family friend who was seriously into Renaissance Fests.  He had the entire costume, persona, etc.  And of course he had a sword.  I asked him about safety measures and he indicated that most RenFests require you to have "The Tie of Peace", sometimes a rope or leather fastener but usually just such a cable tie.  This was to ensure that nobody deep into their cups would draw steel and resume The War of the Roses where their antecedents left off centuries ago.

This shopping run was in association with a wedding, so we did visit the beverage department where I was bemused to see a 21st century "Tie of Peace".

High tech caps that need to be unlocked at the checkout.  They prevent impromptu guzzling in the distant reaches of a 24 hour retail barn, and also have an alarm chip to deter shoplifting.

I can't see the details well enough to determine if Captain Morgan has his cutlass safely "tied" but it hardly matters....there would seem to be nothing stopping the old rum pirate from picking up one of the additional weapons lying on the ground next to the keg!

1 comment:

Honeybee said...

What? You didn't run into (and thus post a photo) of the much-needed banana slicer also found near the produce section? Really, Detritus, your trip through Wally World was much too fast! P.S. I've never checked out what security they have on the much pilfered Tide washing detergent. Laundry soap as a hot black market commodity - what is the world coming to?!