The Private Life of Beans

When I was gifted 30 pounds of dried beans for Christmas, my expectations were modest.  "Cool beans", I obviously said.  And hoped that perhaps they'd be of some use in our hunting land feed plots.  Deer will eat dried beans, tender green shoots, etc.  

So the basic plan was to just plant some in areas we turn over with the neighbor's tractor.  But it seems I had set my expectations too low.

Catching up from previous postings, I:

- Planted about 10 of each variety.  50%-70% survived my indifferent care

- Transplanted one of each...except for one variety where two were intertwined.

And the darn things kept growing.  This is a picture from March 11th.

They were supposed to be bush style beans, but weirdly turned into vine types and proceeded to climb 3 feet up the window blinds.  Had I known this in advance I would have added some stakes.  And perhaps set them up somewhere else.

But its nice to have a bit of greenery in late winter.  Sometimes I remember to water them.  Usually its when I finish a cup of coffee and use the empty cup to fetch their ration.  Caffeine traces might have something to do with their vigorous growth.

But something else is happening.  

I know very little about the sex life of plants.  I actually don't care to know more.  But I vaguely recall that in the whole "Birds and Bees" scenario there should be, you know, bees.  Or some other way to pollinate flowers.  Oh yes, there are flowers.  All three varieties of beans, with various small yellow and blue blossoms.

And there are beans.  Yes, I am officially a bean farmer now.  

This is unexpected.  Oh, we are only talking three that have reached the stage where actual beans should be forthcoming.  Several more adorable little mini pods may or may not develop.  But this shows a degree of resilience that I had not expected.

So how did this come to pass?  Well, some plants are rather ambiguous is such matters.  Male and female parts on the same plant?  I guess.  Pinto and Navy bean hybrids?  Sure, why not.  Heck, the hops that I planted years ago on the back fence just up and changed, one section of the hop producing female plants just throwing some sort of biochemical switch and converting to male hops.  The latter btw are not productive of anything useful to a home brewer.  And, to be frank, the female plants were plenty productive before this transition.  Probably there were bees involved.  Birds can't be entirely ruled out.

So now what?

It appears that free, dried beans can turn into deer pleasing snacks with a fair degree of success.  Oh, and with potting soil and an absence of rodents, turkeys and such to nip them in the bud.  Or in the pre-bud stage.  But it encourages me to try the mass approach.  Every week blast another 10 or 20 pounds of dried beans off into patches of recently cleared land.  See what happens.  Most will get eaten right away.  Some as soon as they dare show their tender little sprouts.  But evidently beans are scrappers, they'll give it their best try.  So I hope to be looking out across waving fields of tasty to deer plants.  At which point I'll tip my bean planter's hat and say "You guys/gals just do your own thing out there.  You be you."