Sycamore Gap, Wisconsin

 To make any sense of what follows you need to know about this tree:

It is, or rather was, an elegant sycamore tree.  It stood in a low spot between two hills right on Hadrian's Wall.  It's just up the hill from Vindolanda where I excavate each spring.  It had become more than a bit iconic.  It turned up on logos, guidebooks, the Kevin Costner version of Robin Hood had the protagonists chatting right under its branches.  

Then there was a stormy night.  And in the morning this is what was revealed.

Under cover of darkness, the sound of their chainsaw drowned out by the winds, villains had cut down the Sycamore Gap tree.  It landed btw on Hadrian's Wall and did some minor damage.

People were angry.  Speculation ran hot and, I'm sad to say, for a while the wrong guy was suspected.  But honestly the pool of suspects could not have been large.  This was done by a professional tree cutter.  To pull this off in just a few minutes time?  Not something drunken yobs would be capable of.  Heck, they'd likely have cut off a few of their own limbs in the dark.

Eventually a couple of real prize specimens were arrested.  The trial was going on when we were over in May.  I won't give them any recognition, they don't deserve it.  Even their defense was crummy.  

My car was there?  Oh, sometimes people borrow it.  Your phone gps put you there and there was a photo on it of a gigantic slice of wood?  Oh, sometimes I loan people my phone too.  Say, didn't you used to own a plus sized commercial logging chain saw?  Where is it?  I don't remember.

Eventually each tried to blame the other.  Helpful hint, when you both try to put the other under the bus you just, well, both end up there.  The verdict was Guilty.  I'd have said Guilty and Stupid.

I'm mentioning this sordid episode only because my son and I cut down a dead tree in our side yard recently.  In case somebody gets all het up about the Chippewa Falls Crab Apple I'm prepared to say that my phone gps did show I was there.  'Cause its where I live.  That's not my (adorable little) chain saw.  And I don't know where either it or that section of wood are.  

I rest my case.