Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Elementary, Mr. Bill

My stuffed squirrel mascot, Mr. Bill, always gets a nice Christmas present.  He brings nothing but happiness into the world so the chances of making Santa's Naughty List are minimal.  I on the other hand would rather like some dark organic material, not coal on Christmas morning but some swell anaerobically preserved Roman stuff when I go off digging in May.

This year Bill got this outfit:

It is intended to be Pilgrim garb, note the archaic collar and the useless buckle on the front of the hat. But actually I think the hat looks more like a Sherlock Holmes deerstalker special.  I post a photo of same in tribute to the fourth season of Sherlock starting filming in the UK this month.

As you can tell, hats are something of a problem for Bill.  In addition to a fairly large cranium - one has to store all those birdfeeder cheat codes someplace after all - Bill has fragile ears.  This outfit is actually a slightly modified wine bottle cover.

So I got to thinking.  And not having stopped myself in time I went on the internet to look up "Squirrel Costumes".  The visual results tend to fall into three categories.  Things you are Glad you Saw.  Things you wish you could UnSee.  And things you hope aliens monitoring our civilization from afar Never See. From category the first I offer up a few other wine bottle get ups that I think have some potential...

 Basic.  The short sleeves would fit his arms better than the Pilgrim outfit.
 Again with the arm issue, but Bill would look swell in Fonzi mode.
 It would be a shame to hide his luxuriant, ebony pelt under the monk's robe, but still, cool.
Honestly he would probably look better in the bridal gown....

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