Where I'll be spending the Zombie Apocalypse

I don't do any recreational shopping, and find that my basic needs can be met with infrequent visits to a few familiar stores.  So it was quite unusual for me to recently find myself in a Sam's Club.  For my UK friends and others unfamiliar with such matters, this is a branch of Wal Mart.  With even bigger boxes of stuff.  Stacked even higher.

Maybe it was the thought that this would be a great place to stock up if you were expecting some sort of Doomsday Scenario but I looked around and realized that this would be an outstanding place to ride out a Zombie Apocalypse.

I'm basing this tactical judgement not just on the amount of "stuff" to be found in a Sam's club.  It also has very few doors, handy skylights for when the power goes out, and most importantly...big stacks of stuff reaching up to the ceiling beams.

As a young lad I was very adept at tree climbing and should think that - given what has to be considered extreme motivation - I could still SpiderMan my way about up there, traveling from department to department while meeting my basic needs for a very long while.

But where is the prime real estate?  Which ziggurat of merch should I stake out as my home base?

Here's a candidate:  Oreos up top.  You can't see it but the lower tier is full of cases of cheap beer.  Not that I'd prefer to drink that swill but it would be an effective base weight to keep the zombies from gathering their few remaining brain cells for a coordinated push over of the entire aisle.

But actually I think this is going to be my Post Apoc Home.  The picture is not exactly sharp.  This stuff is a long ways up which is really the vital point.  But an entire pallet of combo packs containing Hostess Twinkies and Cupcakes!

The Best By Date is nonsense by the way.  Until recently I had a Twinkie I purchased in Egypt 12 years ago.  When I tossed it out it had gotten a little dried out but no doubt would have still been edible.  Perhaps a can of Miller Lite would pair nicely with this entree....