Looking for that special gift....at Axman Surplus

Axman is one of the few stores I actually enjoy shopping at.  But this time I was there on a mission...

Perhaps this is the item needed?

Nope.  Close but I can't recall the last batch of home made rat cookies.

Some kind of theater props now being marketed as "General Purpose Weirdo Costume".  Likin' it, but given certain comments that have been offered up when I try to wear my tuxedo with tails along with my red fez.  Sigh.

It was not for sale but there was a swell AxMan special pinball machine on display.

The ghostly figure of Orson Welles, "Bat Boy" from the classic tabloid press and some vague threats to Oprah Winfrey.  But as I said, not for sale....

The intended recipient is a major fan of lip balm.  Probably ought to have bandoliers of the stuff draped off the shoulder in the style of Mexican banditos.  Still, pepperoni pizza flavor.  And at Axman it probably had been sitting around somewhere or another for years.

Eventually I did find a variety of appropriate gifts, and brought them up to the check out counter.  The clerk was the usual drowsy eyed, long haired hipster with enormous ear piercings.  I felt I needed to explain myself.

"Hey.  Valentine's shopping at Axman."

"Cool."